Understand I

You told me that I would never understand
Charles Dickens vividly tried to tell me in great expectations
Tried hard as I could, I read that I would never understand
I saw that I would never understand
Back then I thought it was some grown up shenanigan
For I thought what won’t be understood if explained right
Now I think I understand why back then I wouldn’t have understood
I understand what qualia is
I understand that I can never understand someone’s pain or joy
Truly I can never feel it like they do
You might experience something similar but it’s never the same. Sue me!
All those moments of weakness you tried hard not to show me but
I was too smart for my own liking that I knew mummy was unhappy
When the neighbor’s kid bites me you tell me strong people don’t cry
You say I would never be like superman or kweku ananse
But in the night through concrete walls I hear you sobbing
Im thinking did wicked osebo escape from the zoo and came to do something bad to her?
My strong imagination that was ripe with naivety
As you were going through pain I was conversing with my comic characters
But I am sure that was how I exactly how you wanted me
A complete childhood filled with good happy memories
I never did understand even now when I say I do
Truly I cant really have a full grasp
Why couldn’t you be wonderwoman and kick bad asses even daddy’s
He is never even around to say he understands and for you to ask really?
You worked your ass off you bellowed at the top of your voice
You stayed awake with me you tended my emotions
A mother’s devotion unparalleled
I would never understand, im grown up now
I don t really care to understand
For in that shrouded secrecy of understanding is what makes you momma
The umbilical cord was never really cut, my first true love you would never break my heart
Till you are gone and praying for me in Abraham’s bosom
And perhaps im a baby daddy and wiping my child’s bottom
I WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND!

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