By the Gutterside Series:Obnoxious Gas

We all love the feeling and air of camaraderie that we share with friends especially those we grew up with in the hood. For me and my boys we almost always met in evenings to talk with our venue being by the gutter side. The long smelly gutter that run in front of each of our houses. We talked about everything and anything!

All stories here are true with the occasional exaggeration or understating to suit the purpose of the writing. BTG

“Manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” – Author has escaped my mind

One often debated topic is why one should pass bad air  whilst in the midst of others. Maybe it was not by coincidence I read on a friend’s blog this morning narrating a sublimely embarrassing situation. Most peep’s line of argument is that it’s natural and its rather harmful to the body if it’s kept inside. So with much glee and mischief guys and girls will fart in differing audible intensity and smells. Depending on the context or situation, such flatulence is either welcome or could cause major upsets. Some friends would laugh it off after some verbal abuse and proclamations of ungentlemanliness whiles others would fight and probably hold a grudge about it for a long time.

So  as usual me and boys were hanging out by the gutter side. Every thing was peaceful even the stench from.the gutter was giving our nose breathing space.

We were having our usual chit chat covering the Euros, women, the Sallah among others. It was quite amusing to hear that some staunch real Madrid and hence C Ronaldo fans actually bet against Portugal and lost huge sums in the process. So I was based listening to all the ‘I told you sos’ and minor ‘Messi hasn’t done some before’ banter when all of a sudden something inside me stiffened. A whiff of some ‘strong stuff’ caught at the tip of my nose. Someone had done the dirty deed. Kyei who was sitting with Paul standing by him readily broke out ready to chastise the owner of some malevolent gas. He asked Paul why he would do such a thing whiles looking awfully displeased. Paul on the hand didn’t appreciate the direct confrontation or accusation and stated emphatically that he was not the perp whiles Kyei remained unperturbed at his stance of who had done. I was trying to blame it on the gutter saying that the rise of the mummy stench was behind it all.

Kyei countered by saying that he knew the difference between gutter stench and what he smelled after sitting by the gutter for quite some time.

Then came the statement cum argument that had me cracking up and inspiring me to write all this down. Paul said in pidgin, ” I also smelled the thing which I must admit was a little stronger than usual but I also thought it was the gutter. By the way have you seen someone who smells his own fart before?” At this point I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably, first because of what was being said and secondly the animated way by which the whole show was going down. I don’t know if Paul meant one who farts doesn’t literally smell it or he smells it but is okay with the smell and wouldn’t react to it in anyway. The former I could empirically disprove and the latter – debatable. Either ways, this assertion was almost philosophical in nature.

Someway somehow the two shared more ‘fartscapades’ as if it to out do each other for some form of merit. So typical!

After a little more raving, ranting, “I shock give yous”, “u no force” and “e chill cut tops” the topic was shifted to another thing and I knew my night by the gutter side would be a short but hilarious one. I hollered at the boys and left with bro.

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