heels and confessions

She dropped into the sofa rather loudly. The fatigue started to creep up immediately from her feet spreading to the rest of her; body. “It feels rather ironic how the alcohol was not having any effect on me but seems to be enjoying being in my system. Oh Annie Annie Annie…Dr Annie” she muttered following up with a chuckle. She preferred being called that since it would save the embarrassing situation of having to correct the pronunciation of her surname which they wont get until a countless number of tries anyway. If only they knew. ‘Fuck the world’ she thought. If only her family knew. It would break their heart and that was the only thing that could break her heart, she sat musing with her eyes closed. She was a professional, the family definitely boasted of producing such, a rising star in the medicine field. A social entrepreneur, coach and mentor to almost every girl wanting to start or just starting med school but…
“There is always a but huh” she said slowly as she lifted her head from the back of the couch where it rested. “There always is. That’s just life” came a high husky voice with just the tints of bass lingering behind it. She got startled yet didn’t look in the direction of the voice. “How did you get in, Boo?” she blurted out. “The correct question is how come you did not lock the door” he retorted. He still had not moved an inch from where he stood and she still had not turned her face to look at him. “Maybe i knew you would come. I expected you” she said and he hissed immediately. “Liar liar. Pants on fire” he said with a mocking tone. she gripped the arm of the chair. He was going to do this now. Her back stiffened as she mentally prepared herself. He now took two steps forward. He was wearing his Huaraches. Did he go for a run? How bad did the news affect him? Her mind was churning out too many questions. She cussed in her head. The alcohol was supposed to silence her conscience but it seems more awakened than ever and out to make her feel her possible worse. “You didn’t quite finish brooding before i interrupted. I want to hear the story behind your but” his phone beeped but he only put his hand in his pocket probably to silence it. “Annie?” he said both gentle and forceful. He was trying hard to balance anger and sorrow. This was a real test for him. He was not sure if he was going to pass. He did not know whether he cared if he passed or not and that’s where his actual frustration lie. “but?” he said drawing out the syllable almost singing it. ” Joojo please!” she pleaded. Her voice came out all wrong and distorted. She is thinking she was about to break and that’s the last thing she needed. She had done what she had done and did not need pity which she was going to get if she broke especially in front of Him. “but?” he said again. “Im a whore…but i. am. a. whore.” she said breaking into a thin smile. She finally turned her face and lifted it to look at him. He looked impassive but she knew his mind was running simulations. ‘That beautiful mind of his” she thought. “Do not call yourself that. Ever” he said with gritted teeth. “That would just be denying a fact” she said and searched his face “how long do you think i would be able to do that?” she added. “Our actions do define us yes…but temporarily. you are not a whore, you only whored. Who we are is what we do unapologetic. Who we are at any given point in time is a glimpse of who we could be. Our true selves awaits us. Situations, circumstances and conditions influence us to go in certain directions sometimes but our true selves will always help us find our way back” he said. “You speak beautifully Joojo, but today i do not understand you.” she said and after a pause “i am a whore”. “Tell me all about it then” he said, “Are those the slut heels?”. “Oh you remember! Funny how it turned out to be just that. Slut heels!” She started to unbuckle her heels. “No, you don’t” he said and she looked up puzzled. Her fingers frozen at the strap. He walked to her stereo and plugged in the aux cord into his phone. A few taps after and music starts blaring from the speakers. Alarm by AnneMarie, their new jam! She smiled sadly as some memories came flooding. He turned it down a notch, walked over to her and offered his hand. Goddamn! She really felt like a damsel in distress. She took his hand and he pulled her to his feet. The moment she was up, he snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her to himself in one fluid movement. They started to move to the song, slower than the song’s rhythm though as if they were playing a slower version in their own heads.She felt a swirl of emotions in her chest. Her arms went around his neck and any space between them was now extinct save their legs. “You are not a whore. A bitch? Yes…sometimes. My bitch.” he said against her ear as he nuzzled her a bit. She tightened her arms around his neck and pressed herself more into him in response. “Why are you even here, Joojo?”. “I thought you might need me. I wanted to make sure you were safe and not going to do something you might regret”. “Something like?”. “Looking at how you rarely do such things I would not know unless you did it”. “I think i rolled all into one and did one big stupid thing that i might regret forever”. “Yes. This you are allowed to regret and it will not even last forever. You will see” She only sighed. “But first you have to tell me everything. I have to know” he said. She closed her eyes and summarized her affair with a love con artist. She fell for him. When he had gotten what he wanted he loosened his guard and she found out that their talk about wedding plans was a reenactment of another one which was the real one. He was only having a ‘nice time’ with her. She cringed. She wondered how she would have felt if she had found out later. She could have done something really stupid then. Now she wondered why he didn’t break up with her. Would he have kept living a double life and stringing her along even after he had gotten married? After that chapter she just kept messing up even after Joojo came into the picture. Maybe she was not used to having a ‘too nice’ guy around. And he was too slow making his intentions known maybe. She was not sure. Then came Edwin too. She did not have anything planned with him but the revelation of him being friends with the royal asshole who actually purposefully set them up was still a pain. The last time they were supposed to meet, the two had planned something. She narrowly escaped it because someone was dying and she had to go attend to the person. How ironic. She shuddered at the thought. Joojo must have felt it because he started rubbing her back gently. The song had repeated over 6 times. Now she was too tired to even stand. The emotional offloading had taken every bit of energy she had left for the evening. “Joojo, it’s bedtime for me. Im too tired to do anything” she said. “You cant sleep in these clothes you know” he said as he swept her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom. “Yes but i’m…” she yawned very hard. “You must be very hungry too” he said laughing. “No, not really” she said. “Thought you yawned when you are hungry”. She laughed and hit his chest playfully. “Hmmm” she said and started to feel him out. “Hey! No, you don’t.” he said also laughing and put her on the bed. He removed her heels, walked to the wardrobe and got her a t-shirt. “You can get out of the dress and get into this”. She said thank you as she took it. He took the heels from the floor and said he was leaving. Her eyes darted from the heels to him. “Yes i’m taking the slut heels away along with your emotional download. ” he said. “You mean my confession” she giggled. “You did not tell me that my sins are forgiven and how many hail Mary’s i should recite”. “Yes your confessions. The one you sinned against has already forgiven you. ” he said and started moving to the door. “Make peace with yourself. You know what to do when you wake up tomorrow. I’m taking them away – both heels and confession” were his last words. He was already out the door and she was halfway to dreamland. She answered sleepily “Yes, heels and confessions”.

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