I dont know who you are – and I would like to know – depending on who you are, you might find this boring.
I needed to pen this down. I’m writing on the fly…scratch that…typing on the fly whiles waiting to binge on some kenkey.
I cannot say I’m inspired nor motivated. My moons have aligned maybe because I’ve been doing a lot of mental mapping, situating my journey and what my future steps would be.
There is an influx of information and or ideas that are finally synthesizing properly in my head. For me, writing is always a starting point to delineating and compartmentalizing them.
Today, my pride was poked at. Someone I was in the same university room with for a couple of years said something along the lines of me not having bad bish pull. And that my niece of whom I had posted was just probably an IG screenshot. It’s really funny now but early on my feelings were on a roller coaster of pissed, surprised and disappointed at both him and I.
My guy, u actually think I would do that lame shit of forming to know hot girls that I dont know personally? Ewwww.
I mentioned this to a few of my friends and they said they were surprised I actually engaged this guy for some length of time. My ego was sprung for a few hot minutes but I managed to just revert back to settings.
This happened after I had typed the first paragraph of this prose and it is the perfect setup for the rest of it anyway. Lemons for lemonade afterall.
I am smart by certain standards. I am an intelligent person. I just dont apply myself as I ought to. In hindsight there were no stakes. I had a fixed mindset for a long time that was a problem but I didn’t see as such. I mean if u can study e math in one night when u had 3 years and still get a C, wont u see yourself as some superhero? Yeah put that S on my chest. (Not my proudest moments tho. It was monumentally dumb but that’s me typically. Always trying to pull magic tricks)
Anyone that knows me know I have ideas for days but wont execute to save my life. I know now why I was the way I was and how that has cost me but in Tommy Shelby voice, “The past is the past.”
And nothing concerns me more than the present. I decided a while back I was done playing status games (Naval Ravikant’s idea of people that focus on wielding perception of wealth and power other than the real thing) that I found myself getting caught up in.
There was a fundamental problem with my whys. It was always about the mundane and for what categorically are selfish reasons. I have tried a few things to try and make money or follow passion or build something. I was cofounder of a budding media company that failed because us founders just headed in different directions after service.
Creatives Ghana is dead. I will start all over again soon with better strategy and knowledge. We (my friends and i) have entered mobile app competitions and nothing have come out of it. None of us was willing to learn coding too so we could not build ourselves. There is one idea of the many we had that I believe is still very potent today. I would go back to the drawing board soon. I have tried working corporate but that shit just wasnt for me. It hollows me out. I have passed on chances to build with my friends which where prime opportunities to utilise what I already new and hone my skills. I would still come and take up that RnD slot u gave me at AfieAesthetic, KJ. And it wont be arm chair philosophy RnD, we go disrupt that industry proper. There was UX/UI design too that I fell in love with and still am but I just had too much going on with covid and a lack of laptop was just a heartbreaker for me.
Now to my real regrets, I slacked with my photography. I should probably be touring with some musician or exhibiting at galleries if I had a plan for it. I should have published something by now with my writing. Like anything. Poetry. Prose. Non-fiction. A chapbook. Anything at all but here I am. (I actually have enough material for a chap book or poetry collection but between not feeling good enough and displacing priorities I still dey here. I have validation from Tryphena Yeboah o hwerh.)
Now I find myself at a place (job) where I do something creative (arguably) and there is flexibility but still enough demand to keep me wrung out. So that little structure but with pockets of time I can carve out has become my genesis 1.
And that is where trading comes in. A less dramatic, unimpressionable entry I must say but I have applied myself. If you are reading this and u dont know I am a beginner trader, we are not friends. Or I probably want to surprise you with the drop-top so u can ask how it happened then I can share it all over again.
For the first time I have given myself onto something totally. And the money lost in those markets, my journal and formation of my trading plan is proof. This is where I want to wake up and hustle. To see Asian range short the pound on week open and for pound to get bullish all week after that is exciting. From the 400+ pip drop of the EJ to the insane liquidity grabs that cost u money. Oh the suffering. The pain of losing money from bad trading. Weeks and weeks of just knowing what to do but not doing it behind the charts. That insanity. Poor psychology. Fear of failure and watching it manifest. I have actually placed a trade just to blow an account before (realizing this only in hindsight)
The pep talks u give yourself. Your subconscious being laid bare to you by this activity of trading is a scary thing. I once saw a quote that said he would not wish something about trading on his worst enemy and I beg to differ. I will definitely wish it. The markets can make u cry. A couple of months to 1 year and it doesn’t seem like it. On the contrary it still feels like a couple of months. I relish the experience and I will do it all over again. So many humbling experiences. The learning curve no dey want end too ei. I have 40GB of SMC to watch and I’m not done with ICT which is like a rabbit hole of tutoring videos. Man has come a long way. Now it all has to come together for my good.
I know this will work. So new energy is being poured into all my ideas. I’m about to go dig up old exercise books I have written concept notes on and get them on my notion.
Time no dey but patience is the name of the game. The market is the only thing I will have patience for. All other things have to move so fast. The companies I need to build have to be up and going.
I recently started reading a song of fire and ice (Game of thrones book adaptation) out of boredom and one thing that caught my interest that I didn’t pay attention to was the House words (motto of the House) Lannisters is Hear me Roar and not a Lannister always pays his debts hehe. Stark – winter is coming. (A warning) Greyjoy- we do not sow ( see their jon pride)
Martell- unbowed. Unbent. Unbroken (favourite cos its poetic)
George R R Martin had a way of introducing the first mention of the house words of each house in a situation where it really is relevant and in some cases a character will actually say the words to justify an action. It had me thinking what my family words could be. Something to capture our worldview or philosophy or what we want to be known for. I came up with one. And just today I thought I should have my own too. Essentialism: Focus and discipline. A lack of focus at tasks is a problem I dont like to admit cos I dont want to believe I have some condition like ADHD but boy does my mind like to wander. Due to this I really have to provide optimum environmental conditions to get anything learning or productive done. The next is discipline. I dont know what to tell you but I am just undisciplined and it has cost me some but I say no more. The mediocre life is no longer enjoyable nor useful. I want to buy a whole ass house soon. if u know what the real estate pricing in Ghana is you would advice me against it and suggest I build. If I get the money tho it wont be your money and I would do what I want with it. I’m under no delusion as to what it will take. So pardon me if I become something of a monk or start moving sideways. No u know what? I dont need you to pardon me. Lol. It’s a result of me pushing to be better and to enjoy the good things in life too.
This post in itself is a result of Essentialism: focus and discipline. To all my faithful readers, you probably will not be up to 5 but I love you from the bottom of my heart where I have stored the emotion that causes me to revenge trade so trust that I have passion for you.
I’m not going over this to correct grammar and whatever. You know how we do it! Cheers to a new month!
a GIFT of WORDS 